A young female friend wondered aloud to me the other day. She said that most young men in this clime seem to be interested in only “big girls.”And she concluded that, “every lady should start ‘packaging’ herself…if she doesn’t want any man to look down on her.”I am of the opinion that MEN OF SUBSTANCE (NOT LAZY MEN) actually look for FOCUSED ladies. That is…someone who knows what to do with her time and makes efforts to develop herself.
As far as I am concerned, the so-called packaging is another name for a fake lifestyle. Projecting an image that is far from one’s reality!A friend regaled me with gists of how he almost entered a “romantic one-chance” sometime back.He lives in a highbrow area of Lagos and, according to him, there was a lady that he constantly ran into while jogging in the mornings.
Naturally, they began to say “hello” to themselves and when one thing led to another in their talks, he learned that she also lives in the same estate…but as a squatter. Thereafter, she began to ask him for all sorts of assistance and he actually was moved to assist as much as he could, until he learned that how they met is her source of livelihood…hunting for rich men in highbrow areas of town!I do not get why an unemployed girl would be living way above her means just to “net” a rich guy and actually justifies her ways with a mistaken notion that if she appears cheap…such a man would think less of her. For real?
Except the man is in your league (mentally)…he should actually be interested in finding out if your source of livelihood justifies your lifestyle.The word “moderation” seems to have vanished from our vocabulary and I wonder if mothers are still doing their job or is it a case of social influence having the upper hand? I also think every lady should make an attempt to retrain herself at some point in life…whoever that is realistic with herself should have an idea of what her flaws are.
How can you be comfortable carrying a phone of N300, 000 around when you have no job?
Even if it’s a gift, I have no doubt that the person that can give you such gifts will have no problems paying for you to get further educated, acquire some skills or even start up some entrepreneurial ventures.It’s almost like the percentage of girls that don’t do Brazilian and the big-big weave-ons is way less than normal because, for some odd reason, wearing the “big hairs” has become the obsession of mostly those that can’t afford it.
A lot of girls have come across people who genuinely want to assist but for some misguided priorities on the part of these girls. A friend told me that he met a lady that he genuinely wanted to encourage after learning that she was still an undergraduate. He was sending her money regularly for her upkeep but had to close shop with her when all her demands centered on the latest Smartphone and costly human hairs. He didn’t need to be told that she wasn’t as helpless as he thought. He didn’t expect such from a girl who should be more concerned with getting funding for her education.
I truly can’t say what drives a lot of our girls of these days but “diligence and moderation” is not one of them. Why should you be more eager to entertain the “passes” of every man that comes your way than you are willing to ADD VALUE TO YOURSELF?
A young lady in her late 20s chatted me up a few days back and I was most impressed to learn that she is learning a trade (on baby stuffs)-despite being a graduate. For a girl that is that focused…some of her mates are busy travelling all over the country to meet men.The social media has even simplified such “connections!”
Packaging is actually in the efforts you make to live a LIFE OF PURPOSE (i.e. what you do with your time and the way you carry yourself)…it has nothing to do with fake and unrealistic lifestyle. Again, not having a job is not the issue (with a man of substance) but the way you engage your time and the efforts you make at improving yourself!!!
A friend put it thus…
“CLASSY is when a woman has everything to flaunt, but chooses not to. Present yourself respectfully. A woman could end up meeting the wrong man based on attitudes and standards that were faked. We must know our own self-worth with or without a man. A good man will respect and value a woman for her self-worth and not for objects in exhibition.”